Everything is an excuse to have jiu-jitsu involved.
First up, Brown Belt On The Shelf
Then, we have The Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all ‘cross the mat
Not a student was tapping, not even to naps;
The heavy bags hung beside the mats with care,
In hopes that St. Jiu-Jitsu soon would be there;
The students were nestled all snug in their chokes,
While squeezing of RNCs danc’d on their throats,
And Coach in his black belt, and I in brown belt,
Had settled our match with a long vicious pelt —
When out in the lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the mat to see what was the matter.
Away to the door I flew like a flash,
Swung open the front door, ran out in a dash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the luster of medals to objects below;
When what should appear, despite my tired hands
But a stretch limo, and many Brazilians,
With a little old driver, a plate that said “JITZ”,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Jitz.
More rapid than armbars his students they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them to train:
“Now! black belts, now! brown belts, now! purples and a blue,
“On! takedown, on! control, on! tap them so true;
“Take center of the mat! To top of the mount!
“Now smash away! Smash away! Smash all from mount!”
As black belts that before the wild white belts fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount them who’ll die;
So on to the tap till our students were through,
With their hands full of pain — St. Jiu-Jitsu knew:
And then in a twinkling, I saw on the mat
The planning and springing of each little trap.
I protected my neck, and I choked with no sound,
Down with defense, St. Jiu-Jitsu made me feel bound:
He was dress’d all in white, and a red belt did wear,
And the belt was all scar’d up with age and tear;
He attacked me with ease and took my back,
And he look’d like a black belt revealing my lack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! His tricks he would show,
His hands were like vices, his toes were like velcro;
His normal looking arms, with ease did he throw,
And the gi on his back was as white as the snow;
His knowledge of jiu-jitsu he showed with skill
I dreamed and wish’d, oh if it came in a pill!
He had a stern face, and his hips made of steel
That shrimp’d when he swep’t, turning me just like a wheel:
He was normal and plain, simply carried himself,
And I laugh’d when he tapped me in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of my head
Soon gave knowledge I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but focused like a merc,
And submitt’d all the colored belts; no work,
And laying both his hands aside of his waist
And giving a bow, he departed, posthaste.
He sprung to his ride, to his team gave a smile,
And away they all flew, after thrashing us a while:
But I heard him exclaim, ere he rolled out of sight —
Jiu-Jitsu to all, and to all a good night.